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Unmarriable Guy That I Should Know Earlier


Dear haniwww,

Welcome back, to my desperate well of thoughts. As mentioned on its title, this post will be about my big disappointment. Disappointment of my marriage (again). There are several things I regret that I have not known them earlier. And I want to mention here so you can avoid the same mistakes.

I just knew from "psychological class" on youtube that there are types of guy that you should not marry. Two of them are:
1. A cold kinda guy
2. A guy who has been highly exposed on porn in his development age

and fyi, my husband is a guy no.1, the Mr. Cold.

Where should I start?

I think all I can say is, that type of guy will have no clue of how to treat a woman, hence he will mistreat you a lot, almost in every chance, until you feel so tired to adjust and lose your patience of telling the right thing to do. Beside, that type of guy tend to also be selfish and always prioritise himself above everything, regardless his status, married or not.

We've been married for almost two years, and I don't think my husband even realise that it is a big problem. I've been suffering a lot, and recently it made me lose my mind and all I want is release my anger.

I am also currently sick. I am writing this while having a bed rest. It is been 3++ days. I told my husband about my condition last night and he did not even check me until now. He is just busy with his own business. It got me frustrated and worse. He is not like human. He has no heart. He does not deserve me. He just always hurt me, over and over again.

Did I tell you why this type of guy you should not marry? They might be like that because they did not see warmth on their family when they were kids. Their parents were also cold. So pathetic. I do not want my kids suffer this. But it is almost impossible if I still stay with my husband. No good treatment, no regular soft touch, no nice words (he likes to criticise me instead), no surprise gifts, no language of love. Just. Cold.

And as a description, you might want to see my picture and my husband from the very first month we live together. He did not even hold me. Can you see where he put his hands?


sad


Jakarta, September 2019,

 laying on my bed so weak while also crying

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